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Birthday Party

Every parents dream is for their child to go to birthday parties with kids from their class right? My daughter got an invitation and I feel very different about it. What if the parents are not prepared to know our situations. What if we have a tantrum and ruin the party. I don't want to go but is that wrong? If it were another child that had autism I wouldn't think twice. I feel like I'm being prejudice. I would love some feedback good or bad.

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Permalink Reply by Melanie Butler on December 4, 2011 at 8:18am

I understand your fears. We were invited to a child's bday party last year and went. My guy had such a meltdown because he wanted too keep the bag the toy came in. This year, I declined to go to the party because I was embarrassed. I totally get it. I am not sure what the right answer is though. Sorry!

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Permalink Reply by Sharon M. Ryan on December 6, 2011 at 9:52am

It's not fair that we have to be so full of anxiety about what is supposed to be a fun event for our child! I agonize over every party invite as well because I'm torn between wanting my son to WANT to go and wanting him to be treated like a regular kid. I have gone to several parties with Jacob and have always forewarned the parents his sensory and social issues, but not gone into great detail. It usually is painful to watch the differences in the other kids' interactions, but sweet when you see the kindness of the other kids toward him. It's definitely a big effort and struggle, but the end result for me has been a mixture of normalcy and emotional upheaval. If you get a good vibe from the parents, I would try it and just try to gauge your daughter's mood/behavior and be prepared to scoot out early if needed!

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Permalink Reply by Michelle Abbott on December 7, 2011 at 9:55am

Thanks for sharing your experiences and suggestions. Im glad to have you aforth ask these things. I was embarrassed to ask but if I didn't I wouldn't know if I were alone. I decided we are going to try and go to the party. Sarah loves a birthday party just like all other kids. I emailed the mother to give her a sense of what to expect. I lucked out for once! She emailed me back that she was a Special Ed teacher and "gets it." So I'm going to the party. I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck!

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Permalink Reply by Melanie Butler on December 7, 2011 at 2:32pm

Good luck. I hope she does great!

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Permalink Reply by Michelle Abbott on December 20, 2011 at 11:28am

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Permalink Reply by Cindy Caron on December 28, 2011 at 10:58am

Did Sarah go to the party yet? So far only Josh has been invited to parties and i had Shawn go to one also since they were both invited from the ABA room. (Jesse's house a few years ago) Josh went to a party and although he acted differently than the other kids there are so many "normal" kids that act strangely or do silly things. Parties are a little stressful and exciting and so the kids don't seem to always be acting very normally anyway! I think you did the right thing by e-mailing the parents to advise them of some possible situations (esp since she has a number of dietary restrictions) and it is great that the parent is in Spec Ed! There seem to be more and more people that understand "our" children! :)

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Permalink Reply by Courtney on December 29, 2011 at 9:59pm

Plot your escape route right away...and cross your fingers that won't need it :-) . But all kids get worked up and melt down at the excitement. Good luck

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Permalink Reply by Michelle Abbott on December 31, 2011 at 9:22am

I had a wonderful experience. The party was at Jump On In so it was so loud that the communication gap wasn't a problem. It was amazing to see how well Sarah did with the other kids. The kids new how to get her attention and used hand gestures to have her follow. She went up and down the blow up toys with them and even waited for a peer to go down and they shared fun and laughter. I felt my eyes fill up more than once. She fit in with the other kids and made my whole year. I wasn't sure how the cake part would go but it was fine. She ate with all the kids. After she was done the birthday girl was going to open her presents. That is when I took out her iTouch. She would glance to see what was going on but the iTouch helped her sit through this part of the party. Her mother had a nice tradition that the person that gave the present would sit with her while she opened and then take a picture of the two of them. I was BLOWN AWAY that Sarah did it with very minimal prompts. I'm so glad I took the chance. It also was a nice insight how hard the staff at school work with Sarah for her to socialize with her classmates.